explanation

i had such a bittersweet experience. 

(the following is an entry from my journal)

july 6th, 2013

tonight, Alexa (my 4 year old niece) came up to me and said she wanted to see a picture of Sydney holding her. my older brother, Michael, said she had asked about his purple bracelet earlier today, which had Sydney's full name, birth date & death date. i thought it would be okay to show her the photo. 

i pulled Alexa on my lap, and took my ipod out, and searched for the photo she wanted to see.

here is the photo she wanted to see, 

from left to right: Alexa, Sydney, Andie, Angela, Makayla

we took this photo literally just weeks before Sydney passed. 

Alexa just looked at the picture and then looked up at me, and so sincerely, she asked, "Did she die?"

I paused for a second, and then said, "yes."

she then asked, "how?"

I sat there not knowing what to say, and Michael looked at her,  and said, "We will tell you when you are older" and then kissed her head. 

Alexa then gave me a hug and went down the stairs, to go to bed.

---i don't know, i just wanted to cry. such a tender moment.

xxxxxxxxxx