My absence has been caused because i have gone through so much in these past couple months; and i apologize.
Things that i used to wish i could change, but now i am just so happy that they happened to me. I've been manipulated, pushed around, forgotten & lonely. And i guess i needed it. I needed to feel that.
I guess i used to just expect people to do as much for me as i would do for them. But, wake up call---- they won't. and probably never will. But I know someone who will.. God will. & that brings me more comfort than anything.
I've been broken, bruised & I've honestly lost all self confidence in myself. But now, I am going strong.
I let a boy take over my mindset&take away my happiness. And that is not okay. Not okay at all.
I let him dig deep, and let him see and know all of the things I told myself is never tell anyone. He knew my faults, my insecurities & most of all.. He knew me. Plain&simple, right? No. He knew more than the average human being could possibly understand. But that's only because we became so close.
six months of always happiness..
and it felt great.
But I had a wake-up call.. Reality check.. Nothing is perfect. Not even the one friendship I thought was.
our first fight..& just like that.. -he was done.
took me what felt like YEARS to finally accept the fact that he no longer cared.
and it hurt. (ex. like heck)
but guess who cared? I did. And guess who supported me? God. &my family.
If I wouldn't of felt so alone..
•i would have never gotten this great relationship with my family members.. And I really needed that.
•I wouldn't of known how to be by myself.
•I wouldn't have lost myself&had to find myself, all so quickly.
There are ultimately reasons behind why things happen. No. There is not always one simple reason.. There could be various, a big reason, or a silly reason. All in all; it's still a reason.
And if knowing that reason matters to you, try.. To figure out just what it was, or is.
it is so worth it.
trust someone who has experience.
(hope this made sense...
im probably going crazy..)
2 comments:
"I guess i used to just expect people to do as much for me as i would do for them. But, wake up call---- they won't. "
This is exactly how I'm feeling today. This is me. I expect others to give as much as I would to them, but the sad truth is that they won't. They never will.
you're right, most people won't do as much as you would do for them, nor will they give you as much as you'd give for them. most people underestimate YOU just as much as you underestimate THEM. but the great thing about God and Christ is that they are the ultimate examples of mercy and forgiveness. They will ALWAYS give us a second change, no matter how many times we fall short of everything. that's the thing about life; you have to learn to work with people who oftentimes aren't easy to work with; you have to learn to forgive people even if they won't forgive you, or even if you don't think they deserve forgiveness. through it all, we must LEARN to be charitable, just like God and Christ are to EVERYONE, no matter what they do to offend Them or their children (me, you, everyone else).
i disagree with you kiana, because saying that people never will give you as much as you expect them to is a hyperbolic statement that undermines humanity. i believe there are good people out there, as well as bad people who will always disappoint. the key is to BE ONE OF THOSE GOOD PEOPLE. by saying "they never will" is saying YOU never will, either.
i believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. although i set myself up for disappointment and heartache, the great thing about that is, i get to learn to get over it and move on, and keep expecting the good from others. when we expect the good, we give others the chance to not only meet our expectations, but even to exceed them. but when there isn't an expectation in the first place, what's the point?
angela, i know times are hard. i felt the same way you did, but i promise things get better. keep your chin up and keep doing what's right. you'll be paid in full. i promise. :)
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