And you say it's worth the fight.

I have changed.

c h a n g e: //
may refer to [edit]
The process of becoming DIFFERENT.
Something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

Just so you know;
I am a different person.
I am not a new person, just a better.
A more reliable person, a better friend.
I am changed. I am better. I am happy.
Through my change, I have found myself.
Where I belong, where I should be. And
we can mention that the journey, and time spent
going through this process, was not easy. It was
hard. Very hard. Emotionally hard. For myself,
and possibly even those around me.

Lately, I have not been much of a vent(er?) I am constantly
blogging about music. If anyone has noticed? I usually just do
a quick post about songs and such or a simple life update.
But that is only because every time I try to write and vent and
just let it all out, I become interrupted. Something always gets in
the way; but not this time.

It starts out like this:
I used to spend every day with my friends, I did my homework
with them, we would watch movies, and gossip about everything,
and most importantly everyone. In a bad way. And I can be brutally
honest about that. I can't say I used to be a necessarily bad person,
I was just different. I was still, well, me. But at the same time,
I wasn't. I was a girl who was simply confused. And I was lonely. I
wasn't the "most liked" girl in my group of friends. But I tried to fit in.
Big mistake. I've moved on. I realized I wasn't supposed to live like that.
I constantly was down on myself. And always felt like I was doing something
wrong. And so, I made a transformation.

Can I tell you how hard that is? To just completely change your life.
To just try to become better. Well, I am not here to complain. But,
I had to change my life. I was falling apart. It was a long process, but
in the end, I finally was able to change, and once again become happy.
Which I am as now. But recently, I went through the same thing,
the unhappiness, the constant battle with myself. The feeling of
not being accepted. Fights with everyone in my life. I had no one to
turn to. I don't share this with people. At all, actually. I was always
getting negative comments from those around me. People told me
all of my negative attributes. I felt my self esteem go down even
more and more every day.

But do you know what I learned? Those comments. The hate.
The negativity. Isn't what I want, it is what I need. I need to realize
that I am not perfect. And I do say this a lot. I need to know that
the negativity, all the constant reminders of why I should feel like
I am not welcome, are the things that make me STRONGER.

I am now strong.
I am a different person.
I am happier.
I am me, and I am okay.
I'll be fine. And so will you.
Don't be negative. Don't limit your possibilities.
Stop cheating yourself of the happiness you
deserve.

(This was needed.)